Fan Fiction: Sueing seeds (Gundam seed parody fic)
"Shelliwin was beatiful. No she was more than that she was perfect. Her emerald eyes shone in the sun, even when she was inside as though the sun was inside her soul. Her amber hair cascaded off of her shoulders and flowed in gentle waves down to her knees. If one did not look closely enough you would miss the cute way her ears come to a point. Her smooth milky skin was utterly without flaw. Her pert yet ample breasts…" Tolle said as he was interrupted.
"Could you stop talking about her?" An angry Miriella said. "All day long all I have been hearing from you is Shelliwyn this and Shelliwyn that. I am so sick of hearing about her" She continued.
"It sounds like someone is jealous." Cussy said half giggling.
Miriella cast her head down in shame. "Your right Cussy. I am jealous of Shelliwyn. How could an ordinary girl like me ever compare to someone wonderful like her?" She said.
Tolle put his hand on Miriella's shoulder. "That's okay Mir." He said. "No one could ever compare to Shelliwyn. We can just admire her together."
"Your right, Tolle. We can form a fan club for her." Miriella said.
It wasn't just those three crew members that were talking about Shelliwyn. Her full name was Shelliwyn Raven Brightfire Yamada but because everyone wanted to be friends with her they simply called her Shelliwyn. The whole crew of the Archangel was a buzz with gossip about the talented and intelligent crew member they had just gained.
"Did you hear about the new girl aboard the Archangel guys?" Sai asked.
"Yeah I did." Mu said. "You know what that means?"
"What?" Kira and Sai asked in unison.
"That means that this is a mary sue fic." Mu said.
"That's a relief. I was getting sick of having to be in all of those yaoi fics." Kira said.
"Actually I kind of like those fics." Mu said.
"You're one to talk. When is the last time you had to be the Uke?" Kira asked.
Mu laughed quietly to himself. "Quit crying about your ass, kid." He said.
"Hey Mu how did you know that this is a sue fic?" Kira asked.
"I know it's kind of hard to tell in this show seeing as you can have some weird name and a hair color that you could only find at Sherwin Williams and no one thinks twice about it but trust me I know." Mu said.
"Hey guys, what do you think my chances with Shelliwyn are? Said asked. "I am really hoping I can hook up with her since my relationship with Flay ended terribly."
Sai's remark sent Kira in Mu into a bout of laughter. After calming down enough to speak Kira said. "Sai I think you forgot that you are just a side character. Mary sues never go for the side charcters."
"Yeah there is no way a guy like me could ever end up with someone like her." Sai said with a whimper.
"Oh great Kira." Mu said. "Did you see what you just did? Now your making him cry."
"Don't bit my head off. I was just trying to tell it to him straight." Kira said. "Besides you were laughing too."
"Buck up kid." Mu said to Sai. "After all isn't Tolle going to be dead in a couple of episodes? I think you will get your chance right there."
"Thanks Commander, your the best." Sai said.
"Remember Sai, you owe me now." Mu said.
"Whatever Commander." Sai said, chuckling. "Anyway I am going on shift in a couple of minutes so I will talk to you later."
Sai ran to the bridge as quickly as he could. He wasn't worried about being late but he wanted to be able to see the beautiful Shelliwyn as soon as possible. When he pushed the button to open the door he had no idea what was actually on the other side.
"Oh no we are trapped in the asteroid belt and there is a huge one headed straight for us!" Natarl screamed in fear.
"What should we do? We're all going to die!" Captain Ramius said in an obvious panic.
"Don't worry I'll handle this." Shelliwyn said. Shelliwyn stood up from her position and confidently marched to the helmsman. She leaned over and pushed a couple of buttons. The crew of the archangel braced themselves as the ship took a drastic turn towards safety. A cheer rose up for their savior, Shelliwyn.
"You saved us all again Shelliwyn. When we get back to base your going to get a medal." Ramius said.
"Another one? If this keeps up my uniform will be too heavy to wear." Shelliwyn said.
"Anyway where did you learn to do such amazing things?" Ramius asked.
"I don't know." Shelliwyn said, casting a damper on the joyous atmosphere. "I don't remember anything past a couple of years ago. It causes me much angst." She continued as a sparkling tear fell from her shining eyes.
"Oh Shelliwyn, I am sorry that I said that." Ramius said as she put a hand on Shelliwyn's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.
"Don't worry I am fine with it." Shelliwyn said a forced smile coming to her face.
"You're a strong girl and I admire your for that." Ramius said.
"She's right you know. You are amazing." Natarl said. "You're so pretty and so nice and you have a tragic, tragic past."
"I know it's almost more than I can bear." Shelliwyn said.
"I wonder how you lost your memories." Ramius said.
"Could it be that Shelliwyn is a second stage extended? What am I saying, that would be ridiculous. There is no way the Earth Federation would let a top secret super soldier wander around." Natarl said.
"Stranger things have happened." Ramius Said. "After all when I was Shelliwyn's age I was just like her and I was apart of the Flannegin institute's Newtype program who stowed away on White base and fell in love with Bright Noah." Ramius continued.
"Newtype, so your like Mu La Flaga, right?" Shelliwyn asked.
"No dear the Newtypes I am referring to are the ones from the UC storyline, they are a bit more like coordinators." Ramius said.
"If that is true then why don't you pilot a mobile suit?" Shelliwyn asked.
"I only had my powers within the confines of the fanfics I wrote. Just like Shelliwyn will return to being a normal person when this fic is over and our like lives will start making sense again." Ramius Explained.
"Wow you know a lot." Shelliwyn said.
"I am the captain so it kind of comes with the territory." Ramius said.
"Hey captain can I ask you a favor?" Shelliwyn asked.
"Okay what is it?" Ramius asked.
"Could I leave the bridge, there is something in the way." Shelliwyn said.
"Oh it's that. Sure you can go." Ramius said.
"Thanks Captain." Shelliwyn said as she skipped away to her errand.
Natarl's mouth flew open in shock. "Captain, it's still the middle of her shift." she said.
"Don't worry lieutenant Badgerule. Shelliwyn is just a girl in love and she is simply going to get rid of something in the way. "Ramius said. "Like that fucking witch Mirai always was." She muttered under her breath.
Indeed there were some things in Shelliwyn's way. Three things or rather three people. And those three people were all together discussing their fate.
"Have you seen the new girl? I think she is entirely too pretty. I hate her." Flay said in her usual bitchy tone of voice.
"Did you hear what they are saying about her? She could be a Mary sue." Cagali said.
"A Mary sue? That sounds delightful" Lacus said.
"I wouldn't say that. Mary sues are like coordinators only worse." Flay said.
"For once Flay is right. Mary sues are insert characters that are entirely too good for their own good. What's more I heard that they often hold vendettas against normal characters if they fall in love with the same character." Cagali explained.
"Oh that sounds awful. I just have one question to ask." Lacus said.
"And what would that be?" Cagali asked.
"Why are all thee of us together? She could get all of us at once!" Lacus said with a growing sense of terror.
Lacus's apprehensions were well founded for at that moment Shelliwyn walked through the door.
"Why hello ladies." Shelliwyn said with a devilish grin on her face.
"Hello Shelliwyn, we were just talking about you." The pink haired woman said as she reached for a cup of tea.
"I hope you were saying nice things about me." The woman with silky amber tresses that danced gracefully in the wind said.
"Yes, yes we were saying nice things, right girls?" The steel eyed woman said with a nervous smile on her lips. The other two girls at the table nodded in agreement.
"That is good to here for it would be really bad if you were lying to me." The young lady with the piercing emerald eyes said.
"What brings you here Shelliwyn? Certainly someone as wonderful as yourself wouldn't bother with three lowly girls such as ourselves." The pink haired woman said.
The brow of the blonde woman knitted in rising anger. "Hey Narrator. What is up with these descriptions? We have names you know so please stop referring to us by our hair colors. It pisses me off" The brown eyed, um I mean Cagali said. "That's better" She said.
"Now that you got that out of your system I will you guys why I am here, it's to get rid of something in the way." Shelliwyn said.
There was a porcelain rattle that came from Lacus's direction and the look of a scared rabbit on her face. "Oh my god she was right." She muttered.
"Okay so who is going to get it?" Cagali asked. "Killing all three of us would be unnecessary"
"You are so right. Offing all three of you would be overkill." Shelliwyn said.
"Well you can't kill me since I am from Orb and if you don't know in this show Orb equals good." Cagali said.
"I would know quite well Cagali because I am your long lost sister." Shelliwyn said.
"You are? I am so glad to meet you after all this time." Cagali said. A tear came to her eye and she hugged Shelliwyn.
After the two separated Shelliwyn said. "Well now back to business. Which one of you should it be?"
"Wait a minute you must be one of those horrible coordinators." Flay said.
"What are you going to do about start seducing Shelliwyn?" Cagali asked sarcastically.
"Eww, this isn't some Yuri fic, although I might make an exception for Shelliwyn." Flay said.
Shelliwyn cringed. "Um I don't know how to say this but thanks but no thanks." She said. "In that case I think I will choose you." She continued. Shelliwyn stretched her hand towards Flay and a brilliant red light flashed from her palm striking Flay and killing her instantly.
"That certainly wrapped things up nicely." Cagali said.
"Yeah magic powers have a way of tidying up loose ends. Anyway I have a bishie to hook up with. Tootles." Shelliwyn said before waving goodbye and heading out the door. Cagali was suprised by the turn of events and could only wave back at Shelliwyn. Lacus on the hand was so shell shocked that couldn't react at all.
Shelliwyn raced towards the mess hall where some of the crew of the Archangel were hanging out. The first person to notice Shelliwyn coming down the hall was Kira. He ran his hand through his hair and struck a pose to impress Shelliwyn. "Why hello there. How are you doing Shelliwyn?" He said.
"I am doing very well thank you. Do you by any chance know where Athrun is? He is very bishilicious and I am wondering where to find him." Shelliwyn asked.
Kira disappointed and a bit annoyed Shelliwyn's words. "Ah Athrun's apart of ZAFT and so you wouldn't have any luck finding him on the Archangel." He said.
"Well Lacus is also apart of ZAFT and I just saw a minute ago talking to Cagali and Flay." Shelliwyn said.
"How is that possible? Didn't Lacus leave the Archangel a while before Cagali joined on?" Sai asked.
"Well this fic takes place later in the series where the two have met each other." Shelliwyn explained.
"If that is the case wouldn't I be dead then?" Tolle chimed in.
"Remember I brought you back to life using my powers." Shelliwyn explained. "So then I will ask the captain to transfer me to the ship Athrun is on." She said.
As if by pure coincidence Capatin Ramius walked in. "Okay if your so special that you have the power to raise the dead why would we just hand you over to an enemy nation?" Ramius asked.
"Because you like me so much Auntie Merue." Shelliwyn said.
"Well I guess that is true but stop calling me Auntie, your pushing your luck." Ramius said.
"One other question, why are we in the asteroid belt, isn't that Mars?" Cussy asked.
With an exasperated tone Shelliwyn asked "What are you going to have for lunch Cussy?"
"I don't know." Cussy said.
"Why don't you have a big bowl of shut your face." Shelliwyn said as she snapped at Cussy.
"I've been rebuked by Shelliwyn, I can't live with myself anymore." Cussy said with tears streaming down his face as he jumped through a window and fell to his death.
"Wait a minute if we are in space shouldn't.." Sai said but was interrupted.
"Don't say it Sai. you don't want to end up like Cussy." Kira said.
Staring at the floating shards of glass Ramius said "I'm impressed. These fics usually have some plot holes in them but this is something else."
"Oh big sister Merue, how about transferring me to the ship Athrun's on?" Shelliwyn asked.
Just then the sound of music wafted through the air. The words anna no isho datta no ni were heard.
"Sorry Shelliwyn we are out of time. We'll get to it next episode." Ramius said.
"Shelliwyn goes to meet her love Athrun but fate and Jealousy get in the way. Next time on Gundam Seed, Causing much angst. Bask in the wonder that is Shelliwyn Gundam!"